Monthly Archives: June 2012

HOT DAWWWWGGGGGG

Serious problem yesterday.  Record breaking heat.  It got up to 104 in Little Rock…and it’s only June.  The summer has barely started!  Walking outside, I felt like I was in an oven.  No wind, no shade, just baking.  


The dogs were baking too.  We bought them a kiddie pool. We totally underestimated the size of our puppies.  Here’s Pink going for a swim.

I think it’s hilarious how he has to curl his body around to fit inside the pool.  We’ll get a bigger pool next time.  Which will probably be in a week, because they’re probably going to chew this one up.

So, buy yourself a kiddie pool this week, and take a dip!  Because it’s getting hot out there!

Party Rockin!!!

Party crashers!

We had people over to our house last weekend. 

We told everyone if they survived the night– and weren’t eaten by the bird-sized mosquitos –then they could take a dog home. Puppy party favors!!!

Everything started out great.  I gave Rick and Pink some chicken.  I even took the bones out, Mr. We’ve Had Them Since They Were Tiny said they’d choke and die if we didn’t.  But, after seeing them eat a tree, and drink posion, I think they would have been fine eating bones.  They must have little tanks inside for stomachs. 

Back to the party.  We had to move the party inside after a few minutes, because the mosquitos attacked.  One tugged on my jeans.  I even had to spray Off on my face.  It made my lips numb. 

We moved inside.  One of our guests is a reporter for a local tv station.  About ten minutes after moving inside she says, “I see one dog in the front yard.”  I have no idea how she spotted him.  But then, with out missing a reporter beat she said,  “Correction, now there are three dogs in the front yard.”

She sounded like she was giving a report from about our front yard. It was a Pink and Rick Live Report!

So we ran outside.  Here’s a picture mid run.

I was scared because the last time they got out– they ran down the street to the neighbor’s house and jumped into the swimming pool.

So, I knew we only had seconds to get the dogs.

I yelled, “Pink, Rick, Stop!” 

The dogs knew they were caught, so they didn’t give us much of a fight  They turned anround and looked at us like, “Hey guys, we were just looking for you.”

But I know better, they were headed to the pool.

“No,” their eyes said, “honestly.  We just want to ppplllllaaaayyy with you.”

Liars.

Their sweet eyes didn’t work.  We put them back in the pen. 

It could have been much worse.  Like drive around town, ruin our dinner worse. 

So, even though they flooded the backyard,  I guess we’re even because they didn’t ruin our dinner.  But who knows, maybe the next time we have people over, they’ll light the house on fur by building up friction in their fur and rubbing themselves against the back of the house until it sparks and goes up in flames. 

I better stop before I give them any ideas.

Maybe we should all try and get away with breaking out of our “pens” this week.  Maybe you’ll get away with something you never thought you would!  Let me know!

Deadbeat Dad

Happy Father’s Day!

A huge shoutout to Bob Moger and Carl Fannon.  That’s my dad and Mr. We’ve Had Them Since They Were Tiny’s dad.  Two of the best dads in the world. 

Today, I want to tell you about a not-so-great dad.  Pink and Rick’s dad.  Harley.

He didn’t help Hannah out with the puppies when they were tiny.  He wasn’t around at all.  He just caused this problem and ran away.

How cute are they!  They were adorable, but they were DEMANDING.  They ate constantly.  When they got teeth– they practically ate Hannah alive!  Where was Harley?!?  Trying to find a new woman.  New women actually.  Anything that moved. 

That’s when I started calling him a deadbeat. 

But here’s where it gets fun. His “extracurricular activities,” caused so much trouble, he learned a very important lesson.  Act Right or Get Snipped (wouldn’t that be an incredible presidential campaign slogan?) 

Needless to say, he didn’t shape up… so he got snipped.  He’s doing better now.  He showed Pink and Rick how to swim. 

  
I wish he’d teach them to stop eating poison, eating trees, or flooding the yard.  If Harley doesn’t teach them soon, they’re going to learn the same lesson.  Going to Snip City.  They’re headed there on a fast train full of kibble.

Pink’s Crazy Eyes: Why to Love Your Crazy Self

I want you to check out Pink’s Crazy Eyes.  These eyes aren’t photo shopped.  He really does have creepy gold eyes.

I think he might be posessed.  Or, he might be a  vampire dog– a vampire dog that feeds on other animals- to be specific.  I guess that would mean he is a vampire cannibal dog.

His eyes are dark brown on the outside, then gold, then light blue around the pupils.  Maybe he has glaucoma? That’s the disease optometrists use the air puff test to measure.  Hate that test!  But maybe, I should take Pink to get it.

Anyway, here’s the point (yeah, you’re shocked there is a point)!  The strangest part about Pinks Crazy Eyes… well his crazy looks in general is: people love it!  Anytime we take Pink and Rick places, everyone always wants Pink.  Of course Mr. We’ve Had Them Since They Were Tiny won’t let them go, but it shocks me that everyone wants the crazy looking one. I  thought everyone would want Bad Ricky.  He’s terrible but he’s so pretty.

But no, people want Pink.

Which just goes to show, sometimes your craziest parts are the most attractive.  Because they make you unique.  So let’s all flaunt our crazy selves!  Take a crazy pic today.  Wear an interesting outfit!  Walk out into your job confidently!

I promise, whatever you do,  won’t be as crazy as this picture of Pink.  He’s sending the camera a– I’m hungry for blood look!

 It’s official, he’s a cannibal vampire dog.

Not so much love letter to Rick

Dear Rick,

Please stop barking at our window all night.  We feed you thirteen times today.  You’re not getting any more food. 

Also, please stop ripping apart a tarp outside our window at night.  It is extremely disturbing to wake up in the middle of the night to riping noise.  Your stomp, grab, tear, and repeat technique is giving me nightmares. 

And Not So Dear Rick, one more thing.  When I give you a treat— that you never deserve— please stop trying to eat my hand.  You’ll get more treats from me, if I’m not terrified to touch you.

With not so much love,

Kelsie

Friend Friday: Ham Bone Camp

I’m taking a break from writing about Pink and Rick after they flooded the yard.

So, here’s Pink and Rick’s friend Hamilton!  He has several aliases: like Ham Bone, pupcake, hamilturd,and Hammy.

Here’s what I love about Hamilton.  He’s not afraid to rock a look.

His, I’m turning two, bring it on ladies look
 Seriously watching the game!  Don’t bug me while the Bears are on.  Or I’ll bite your face off!
 I’m Super Dog, are you my Lois Lane?

Ah, all these outfit changes make me thirsty! 

Hamilton’s owners are Sarah and David Camp.  A great couple! Sarah blogs at The Happy Campers.

It doesn’t surprise me they have a lab.  Sarah grew up with a lab-ish dog.  His name was Gopher Peanut Caramel Marshmallow.  I’m surprised Hamilton didn’t get any foods in his name…wait!  His nickname is Hammy, so maybe old habits die hard!

When Ham Bone was a puppy he was kinda a wild thing.  But, I won’t bring up the past.  Now, he’s just a grabber, so don’t leave your shoes around!  I’m just amazed Hamilton stays inside.  I can’t even bring Pink and Rick in our laundry room.

 Ham’s profile makes me think: maybe P & R will get better when they’re older.  I can at least hope!  If they don’t I’m going to have to be checked in somewhere.

Thanks Sarah, for sending me cute pictures of your dog and giving me hope!

Dogs Flood Yard. I’m done.

I’m done.  Officially. Done. With. Dogs.

I got home from work.  I work nights, so I get home about 11:00pm.

I went into the backyard to pet the pups, and I heard a noise.  I walked toward the noise, and realized I was walking in water.  Wait, WATER?  That’s what the noise is?!  I looked down. Our outdoor faucet was running.  Water was pouring into the backyard…for hours.

The dogs turned on the water faucet.  Flooding the back yard.

I ran inside.  I started yelling, “Dogs turned on the water!  BLLAAAAHHH!  I need a flashlight!!! BLHAHHHAHAHA!”

Mr. We’ve Had Them Since They Were Tiny, “huh?”

Me, “BLLLAAAHH! DOGS. WATER. BLAHHHHH! FLASHLIGHT.”

He says, “I’ll find one.”

I run back outside.  I start yelling at the dogs.  MWHTSTWT comes outside and hands me the smallest key chain flashlight on earth.  That’s why this picture is horrible.  But, I think it gets the point across.

I’m beyond mad.  Mr. We’ve Had Them Since They Were Tiny and I get in fight # 497 about the dogs.

This morning update: the water has pooled in holes the dogs dug– by our foundation.  I’m not taking a picture of that, because it makes me feel really trashy.  It really worries me that we have water sitting near the foundation of our house.  What if there’s a crack and it’s seeping inside somewhere?!? UGH. UGHHHHHHH!!!! DOGS!!!!

I know they love water, but this is ridiculous.  I don’t even feel bad that Rick poisoned himself last week.

Goodbye all “sweet and loving” feelings.  Goodbye all “they’re terrible, but oh so cute” feelings.

You flooded my yard.  You’re probably ruining my house.  I officially hate my dogs.

Breaking the Law

We break the law– a couple times a week.  But, we do it for our neighbors!

Let me explain.  We’ve been trespassing and taking the dogs to a pond in town for the last couple months.  We started these trips after Pink and Rick dug a hole under the fence, went swimming in the neighbor’s pool, and Rick was hit by a car (I’ll make a post about this soon).
We them to the pond so they’ll be tired, and they won’t look for trouble.  So, we’re really trespassing for our neighbors’ sake!   
Here’s how it starts: dogs above the law!
Riding to the pond.  I’m sitting in the bed of the truck with them.  Last time, they jumped over the tail gate–while the truck was moving.  The last thing I need is dog with a broken back! 
 In the water!  This is my favorite picture ever. Check out Pink’s ears!
Mr. We’ve Had Them Since They Were Tiny, trying to teach the dogs to retrieve this stick.
  Mr. We’ve Had Them Since They Were Tiny BEGGING Rick to get the stick.
 The stick wins.  
Leaving.  
  They didn’t retrieve, but at least they’re tired. 

  Yep. These white dogs can’t jump.  Jared has to lift 100 pound Rick in the back of the truck.  Lame Rick.

If you want dogs who break into your neighbor’s swimming pool, can’t retrieve, eat treespoison themselves and jump out of trucks…please email me, facebook me, tweet me, or just come by and pick them up!